Extreme Inuyasha Weirdness
by AzraelOokamiHanyou
Summary: Exactly what the title says- extreme weirdness. This is not to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form. Read it if you dare.


Author's note: This is not to be taken seriously. I wrote this on a whim when I was on a sugar high and had sleep-deprivation at 3:00am in the morning. I was really bored and I couldn't think of anything _real_ to write. So I give you this piece of insanity for your amusement. If you wish to review please remember not to flame. Thanks and happy reading!

Disclaimer: I definitely know that I don't own Inuyasha. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, so leave me alone you lawyers!

Extreme Inuyasha Weirdness__

Light footfalls could be heard as she made her way through the dark corridor. Turning, she noticed a light coming from underneath one of the doors in the hall. With her curiosity peaked she slowly made her way over to the door and grabbed the handle, tuning it with such slowness that it would put a granny turtle to shame. Swallowing her fear she quietly opened the door and peered inside. However, she was in no way prepared for what greeted her.

Sitting together at a small table with a tea set displayed before them were Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, Kikyou, and Naraku; each of them wearing some sort of frilly attire. She face-faulted at the horrid sight and almost turned-tail and ran. Never in all her life did Kagome Higurashi believe that she would see her love interest seated happily near his old love, his hated elder brother, and his most loathed enemy sipping tea. She was frozen to the spot until a familiar voice beckoned her.

"Hey, Kagome! Come on over and join us! The party is just getting started!" Inuyasha cried happily while waving her over.

"Um…. OK…" she answered a little unsure of what to do. As she made her way over she took notice of what the others were clothed in.

Naraku looked peachy in his normal baboon pelt; however the color seemed to have a pink tint to it and the head was missing. In its place upon his head sat the most ridiculous looking hat one could ever imagine. Kagome thought to herself that it probably shouldn't have existed in this plane of reality, if any. Besides being an unfashionable shade of pink and orange it was littered with random flowers in a gaudy display of blues and yellows. The purple and green ribbon that trimmed the overly large bonnet seemed to prove his apparent lack of taste and common sense. It appeared that he was wearing the entire color spectrum on his head alone and the little blinking lights did nothing to help his sanity.

Kikyou on the other hand, was dressed in a full yellow Southern Belle outfit; complete with hoops, girdle, ankle boots, large straw hat, and umbrella. Seeing as Kikyou was a girl it did not seem so disturbing, however, the smile that she adorned as well was what threw Kagome for a loop. Kikyou never smiled unless it was a wistful or sadistic sort of smile; this, on the other hand, was beaming cheerfulness, and it frightened Kagome, ever so much. The light from the pinging forced her to cover her eyes and look to somewhere else.

Her eyes landed on Inuyasha's older brother, Sesshoumaru. He did not seem happy as the others did, but he was not in character either. A large frown was plastered on his face and his arms, yes arms, were crossed over his chest in a childish huff. He was wearing a baby blue suit that seemed to be of the Spanish persuasion, if the small jacket, knee-length stockings, and short pants gave any indication. His right leg was crossed over the other in a girl-like fashion and he seemed to be sneering at something on the table, and it wasn't the food. No, Sesshou was, by the looks of it, refusing to wear his matador hat that completed his outfit.  Noticing his chagrin, Inuyasha picked up said hat and waved it in his face. Sesshoumaru looked the other way and feigned ennui, even though Kagome could see that he was seething inside.

Once Inu noticed that his elder brother was ignoring him, or trying to at least, he put the hat back down and pursued other things, such as a conversation with Naraku. What it was about Kagome did not want to know and instead tried to see what Sesshoumaru was wearing underneath the short jacket. Inuyasha laughed at something and gained her attention nonetheless. He was sporting a pastel pink tutu with white tights and a tiara to boot. Kagome's eyes widened to that of saucers and looked about ready to leap form her face. She silently wondered why she hadn't noticed this first. He stood up happily as she drew nearer, unconsciously, and flashed a smile as he proclaimed that he was going to bless everyone with a dance.

Kagome paled as music seemed to come out of nowhere and Inuyasha began to dance with unparalleled grace and finesse. He shuffled about performing pliés and jetés, moving to the music in a masterful way. When he went through a port de bras followed by a series of pirouettes and a tour en l'air, Kagome decided to look around the stark white room that appeared so much more interesting at the moment. She noticed with interest that it did not have any windows or doors which struck her as odd for she specifically remembered entering through a door. Yet when she glanced behind her the door was no longer there. She suddenly felt very cold.

Naraku let out a large chortle as Inuyasha tripped on his outstretched leg and fell flat on his face. Kikyou shook her head in disappointment; however it did not seem very effective with the huge smile still plastered on her face. Sesshoumaru seemed to cheer up a bit though at the sight of his younger brother face first on the floor. Inuyasha snapped his head up and glared at Naraku.

"How-how could you?! You…. you fiend!!" he screeched. Naraku's reply was another fit of laughter at his expense. Kagome was too freaked out to laugh, even though the sight was pretty hysterical in most aspects.

"Brawk!" was the sudden cry of a creature in the shadowy corner of the room; though Kagome was unsure how those shadows could have appeared when there was not a thing in sight that could have cast one save those seated at the table and herself. The creature emerged from the depths with two others hot on its trail to reveal Kagome's other companions; Sango, Miroku, and Shippou.

"Wha-what?!" was all that Kagome could think of as she saw what her friends were adorned in.

Miroku was the proud owner of a fuzzy purple chicken suit, hence the cluck earlier, that was also missing a head most like Naraku's current, pink baboon pelt. He began to peck at the ground as if in search of a tasty meal.

Kagome blinked as she noticed Sango by his side wearing an egg costume and Shippou dressed as an astronaut.

"S-Sango … wha? Miroku! Shippou! What are you…?" Kagome was cut short by Miroku as he ran past her with Sesshoumaru hot on his heels yelling something about dinner, belting out squawks and clucks a mile-an-hour.

Sango tucked her arms and legs inside her costume and began to roll about on a whim while Shippou started jumping around as if he were on the moon. The most disturbing part was that it looked like he was as he jumped in slow-motion. Kagome rubbed her eyes hard in response and blinked rapidly before looking again to see if she were imagining the entire thing.

"Hey, Kagome, c'mere for a sec." Inuyasha said while the four ran/rolled/jumped around the room in the background. Kagome nodded her reply and did as he ordered, still a little dumbfounded.

"What's up… Inuyasha?" she asked uncertainly. He smiled a devilish smile as he gestured her to take Sesshoumaru's seat. Kagome looked at it hesitantly for a moment before complying. "Kagome… I have to ask you something…" he began with a little blush creeping up on his handsome face. Kagome's heartbeat increased as she shimmered with hope in her eyes.

_Is Inuyasha finally going to admit his feelings for me?!_ She wondered happily feeling a blush rising in her cheeks as well.

"Naraku said my dancing sucks… do you think so?" All of Kagome's hope and happiness was squashed at that very moment when he uttered those words and she almost cried. Thinking the silence and saddened face meant that she agreed Inuyasha burst into tears. "NOOOO!" he cried in agony "Why was I cursed with these two left feet!" He then continued to sob pitiably as Kikyou, still smiling widely, tried to sooth him. Kagome was too disturbed for words.

"What did you do to him?!" Sesshoumaru asked in awe.

"I-I didn't do anything! I didn't SAY anything!" was her defense. Sesshoumaru looked at her for a moment then replied,

"Would you teach me how to do that?" Kagome was taken aback by the eagerness and hope in his voice and could only stare. Sesshoumaru then caught notice of a certain chicken trying to escape and resumed the chase once more, completely ignoring her.

            Kagome was about to scream as Sango rolled by when she saw three more figures out of the corner of her eye. Turning around she saw Kouga, Hakkaku, and Ginta. She smiled and almost laughed in delight when she noticed that they were dressed in their regular attire.

"Kouga-kun!" she cried happily as she ran over to him. "I'm so glad to see you! Everyone is acting so strange!" Kouga smiled at her and replied,

"Burp!" Kagome's smile faltered and diminished as he began anew with more belches and hand gestures.

 _Great, he burps for speech! What else could go wrong?!_ She thought angrily as the three wolves began to sing/belch a song that strangely resembled "I Believe I Can Fly." She then walked back over to the table and was about to sit down until she thought better of it as she noticed the still weeping Inuyasha.

"When will this madness end?" she asked no one in particular. Kikyou looked up at her, still smiling. "That's getting really annoying… what are you smiling at?!" Kikyou only smiled in response and Kagome couldn't hold in her involuntary shudder.

"Get back here, lunch!" Sesshoumaru bellowed from the other side of the room. Kagome just shook her head at the absurdity of it all. Miroku soon ran by, losing feathers as he ran, followed by Sesshoumaru, a giant egg, and a slowly leaping astronaut.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" cried a small feminine voice from behind Kagome. She whirled around to find Rin cheerfully running over to her. "Kagome!" she squealed as she attached her self to the older girl's leg. She then noticed her Sesshoumaru-sama chasing Miroku, the purple chicken. "Why is Sesshoumaru-sama chasing a chicken?" she inquired while detaching herself from Kagome. Kagome was about to respond with, "I have no idea." when Rin continued. "He's supposed to 'moo' with me!" She then proceeded to follow after him while mooing like a cow.

            It was then that Kagome noticed the cow suit that the little girl was wearing. Its strangeness depleted a little by the sheer cuteness of the girl herself. Sesshoumaru on the other hand looked like he should be chasing her with a red cape saying, "Toro! Toro!" instead of "mooing." When the whole lot of them ran past the three wolves that had made it onto their second verse of "Habanera" from "Carmen" they stopped abruptly to follow Sesshoumaru in chasing the giant purple chicken otherwise known as Miroku, the perverted monk.

            Kagome noticed Jaken and Ah-Un in the far off corner that Rin had come from standing still as rocks. With her curiosity getting the better of her she decided to investigate. Upon reaching them she observed that they had yet to move, so she decided to touch one of them, and one of them being Ah-Un because she refused to place her hand upon the slimy Jaken.

_Yep,_ she thought disdainfully,_ solid as a stone._ A sick thought then entered her mind as she looked down upon the hapless petrified toad. Everyone turned around as they heard a loud thud hit the floor. Kagome looked sheepish standing next to a stony Jaken that had somehow "fallen over."

"I didn't do it!" she exclaimed.

"What happened?" Inuyasha inquired between sniffles. Sesshoumaru stalked over to her and she was sure that she was about to lose her head for damaging his loyal servant. However he only looked down at the toad and smirked.

"You made Jaken fall down, go boom!" He said while clapping his hands. Kagome promptly fell over in a faint.

            He eyes flew open as a gasp escaped her lips. She vaguely noticed that she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. _What had that been?_ She wondered while clutching her head at the memory of the bizarre dream. Never again was she going to eat before going to bed, especially not sugar.

Azrael: Bwa-ha-ha-ha! The end!

Loki: Wow… Chitai must have been on crack when he gave you this idea…

Chitai: Hey! I was on no such thing! I believe that this is one of my masterpieces! (Loki and I look at each other and shake our heads.)

Nayeli: When am I ever going to get to give you an idea?

Azrael: Whenever you want would be great… _you're_ the muse, hon, not me.

Nayeli: I thought that you just wanted to write these odd/disturbing stories with Chitai and Isaac…

Azrael: Er… can you complain to me about it later? I seriously doubt the readers want to hear you whine… (Nayeli shrugs and leaves.) OK I guess that's it! Oh! I almost forgot! I just wanted to say that…

Chitai: Master?

Azrael: ::Vein pop:: Yes?

Chitai: Is this note over yet?

Azrael: I'm trying to finish it, so please let me… (Chitai looks confused.) ::Sigh:: Yes Chitai, you can go now. Please, go.

Chitai: Yes ma'am! (Salutes me then leaves.)

Azrael: OK! Now I just wanted to say that I don't hate any of the characters, I just like picking on them, especially Jaken. I love that little toad.

Loki: Good God, can we go yet? (I glare at him and he glares back.)

Azrael: Yes. Bye!


End file.
